Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The old saying

The old saying comes to mind: you believe as your parents did before you. On the one hand it can be a save haven, giving you structure. Makes you feel comfortable and safe. But the other end of the coin is it can trap you, keeping you back to discover what you can do.
When these familiar comforts is shaken you re-evaluate your believe system. You do not find the old ways safe and secure any more and you are forced to ask questions.
What do I believe? What is working for me? Where do I fit in the big scheme of things? It is only when our worlds is shaken that we are prompted to search deeper, asking questions, sometimes uncomfortable questions to who ever is the closest to you. Some times with an answer and sometimes you leave with more questions than when you started. 
When the last shaking in my life took place I wanted to shrink away. I wanted to crawl in a heap and cry. 
Then when I was done I was bitter, lashed out to who ever was close to me, husband, kids, friends, family. In the process only those who was willing to listen and see beyond the pain stayed, the rest dissapeared into the air. At first I was hurt, bitter once again and I turned my back on every one, including God.
My belief system was shaken to the core and I was at a loss. 
But no matter how I felt God still believes in me, He refused to let go and was there in my darkest hour, right through until now. Giving me hope, grace and love during this time.
Do I believe in anything, yes i do. I believe in an Al seeing, Almighty God that is there no matter what. Taking away the hurt and pain and give me a new believe system. The past is gone, look I make everything new says God.