Thursday, September 6, 2012

Accidentally in Love with...A God? A Review

Title: Accidentally in Love with...A God?
Series: Accidentally Yours Book 1
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Publisher: Self
Length: 294
Heat Level: Sensual

Sequel to ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE WITH…A GOD? and The New York Times Best Seller, ACCIDENTALLY MARRIED TO…A VAMPIRE?, this story has it all! Vampires, gods, and our favorite evil Mayan priests, the Maaskab.

4.4 out of 5 Stars on Amazon for “Sun God Seeks…Surrogate”!

Available at: AmazonKobo

BLURP:Twenty-two-year-old Emma Keane has a secret friend. He’s powerful, mysterious, and devastatingly handsome. In her dreams, anyway. 
In real life, he’s an enigma. Maybe just a teensie jealous. Definitely overbearing. He’s also a voice only she can hear. 
So who or what is he? He won’t say. But if she wants to be free, to be normal, Emma will have to trek to the jungles once ruled by the Mayans and find the forgotten ruin holding the answers.
However, the ruthless deity she’s about to unknowingly unleash on the modern world might not be so easily extracted from her life. Bottom line, he’s got enemies, and now, so does she. 

Present Day
Wasn’t dating supposed to be fun? Because this was anything but. At any moment, a man I’d never met—approximately six foot three, brown hair, and soul-piercing blue eyes, according to his online profile—would walk through the door of the Conga Lounge, give his name to the hostess, and scream hysterically at the sight of me. Okay. He wouldn’t scream. Aloud, anyway. Not that I was heinous, but anyone who looked closely enough might notice I was…different.
I eyeballed the door, contemplating a mad dash before he arrived.
No, you can do this, I thought, while staring at the condensation channeling down my glass of water, my leg bouncing under the table. Why had my date picked a corny theme bar that looked like Gilligan’s Island threw up? What sort of man goes novelty on the first date?
Bad sign. Bad sign.
At least the other patrons—seated around the faux torchlit room, leisurely sipping Bahama Mamas and Mai Tais—were oblivious to my impending meltdown.
I felt the gentle whoosh of summer evening air as the door swung open, and the noise from the traffic-packed New York street poured in. A tall man with sun-kissed skin, broad shoulders, 
and tousled brown hair floated in—yes, floated—as if he’d ridden in on a cloud straight from Hot-Man Land. He wore a black polished cotton shirt, which hugged his well-constructed chest, and low slung jeans that molded to his lean physique. He wasn’t just good looking—he was Milan runway edible.
“Oh, sweet Virgin of Guadalupe, please be Jake,” I muttered under my breath.
Like a cliché from a movie, our eyes met from across the room, and his face lit up with a dimple-framed smile. My heart nearly stopped. “Thank you, Virgin,” I said, releasing my breath.
He strutted across the restaurant, a magnet for every female in the room.
“Emma?” he said in a deep slow-churned voice, then smiled, and held out his hand. I stood up in a daze, mentally pinching myself.
“You are Emma, right? Curly, shoulder-length, red hair, five three. Several crazed female stalkers for best friends?”
Oh, no. What had my roommates 
done? Since the whole online-blind-date thing was their idea, they assured me they’d carefully “screened” the guy. But I thought they were just joking about breaking into his apartment and rummaging through his underwear drawer. And dammit, they hadn’t even bothered to dish.
Tighty whities or boxers?
I looked down at his outstretched hand. Oh, shoot. Shake hands. “Sorry, it’s just—I wasn’t expecting someone so…” I swallowed and placed my palm in his. It was warm and inviting, just like his eyes. “Um…so tall.”
“And I wasn’t expecting a woman so”—he paused to look me over like a dog eying a giant juicy steak—“adorable.”
“Adorable?” said the deep male voice inside my head. “What kind of moron compliments a woman with the word ‘adorable’? Does he think you’re a goddamned puppy?”
Couldn’t I have one, just one lousy day without the voice? My blood began to boil instantly, but I resisted the urge to snap back with something lame like, “Well, maybe Jake senses I want to lick him from head to toe. Maybe even have a go at his leg.” But then I thought better of myself. Because tonight, I was on a mission, and nothing would stop me from climbing my own mental Mt. Everest: convince myself that I, Emma Keane, could feel attraction for a real live man with ten fingers, ten toes, arms and legs, and the other necessary dangly bits needed to make a 
relationship normal. All I needed was the right man.
The catch?
The other person I needed to prove this to wasn’t exactly a person. Okay—truth be told, he was a mysterious voice only I could hear. Yes. A luscious, deep, velvety voice so seductive it could turn me into a quivering mindless puddle of need with one little sigh. Sound crazy? That wasn’t the half of it. But it was why I had to do this. If I wanted a shot at normal, I had to take this first step.
Jake and I held hands for several moments before we sank into our wicker seats. “So you must be Jake.” Stupid statement, I know, but I had just forgotten all of the witty icebreakers I’d painstakingly memorized.
He nodded and continued smiling. 
“So.” I paused, trying to think of something clever to say. It didn’t happen. “My friends. They didn’t do anything crazy, did they?” Other than a felony B&E?
Jake shook his head. “Aside from having me followed? No. They just sent an e-mail making it clear they’d remove both my testicles if I did anything wrong.”
I cringed inside, but at least he didn’t know about the home invasion.
“With a dull spoon,” Jake added.
The voice snickered. “I’ve changed my mind. I now officially approve of your friends.”
Jake continued, lowering his voice, “But I’m glad I came. I thought your profile might have been exaggerating your looks. It didn’t.”
“What a cretin. You’re not falling for this crap. Are you, Emma?”
I felt my temper percolating, but I hung on. “Thanks,” I said to Jake and then looked down at my hands.
“So I hope you like this place.” He opened up the piña colada shaped menu. “The food, I hear, is tiki-licious.”
“Right. That’s it. This date…is over!”
Percolate went to boiling over. “Jake, I’ll be right back.”
“Um—okay,” I heard him say as I stomped off to the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and checked the two small stalls. 
“You giant turd! You promised you wouldn’t talk!” I hissed. “Not a peep.”
“Well, that was before…”
“Before what?”
There was cricket-worthy pause.
“Fine. You listen to me, Guy”—that was my latest name for him since he’d never shared his real one—“we had a deal. You promised you’d behave—”
“And you swore on your soul you’d pull the plug if I said so.”
“Oh, no, no, my friend.” I shook my finger at the air, even though he couldn’t see me. “I said I’d end the date if you sensed anything wrong.”
“Yes, and he’s clearly deranged.”
“Deranged?” I barked. “You’re un-bel-ievable! He’s said two words—” 
“Eight-five. Or was it eighty-seven? Hell, it doesn’t matter. I knew on word three there was something…off.”
“Oh my God! You’re completely full of it!” Hiccup! Hiccup! “Great. See what you did? My night is completely ruined.” Hiccup!
“Do you have a paper bag?” he asked.
I continued hiccupping uncontrollably. “No. Doesn’t exactly go with my new dress.” Hiccup. “Besides”—hiccup—“that only works for hyperventilating. I’m working up to that next.”
“New dress?” he asked, his tone a notch above angry. “You didn’t wear the new green dress, did you? The tight one that shows every curve and ‘makes a man instantly hard,’ as your friend, Anne, so eloquently stated?”
The door to the restroom swung open. The woman gave me a nod as she went into one of the stalls.
Christ! I’d forgotten my wireless headset. Again. Without it, I looked like just another New Yorker one step away from a Repent Now! sandwich sign. I scrounged through my matching satin evening bag and popped on my prop.
“Answer me! Did you wear the dress? After I expressly prohibited it?”
Should I tell him I secretly wish he could see me in it? No. No! What am I thinking? He could never know what went on inside my head; he’d only use my feelings against me. I hiccupped three times in quick succession. “Yes! I wore it, and it looks fabulous. You should see all the men walking around with colossal erections just from looking at me!”
Just then, the woman emerged from the stall and scampered out of the bathroom. She didn’t bother to wash her hands. Ewww, I thought. 
“You play with fire, little girl.”
“No! You play with…” I couldn’t think of anything meaty to say. “Uuuh…fire. I’m going out there, and I’m going to finish this date whether you like it or not. And if you make one more peep, just one more, you’re going to…uh…get burned!” I so need to work on my threat technique. “Got it?”
“And if I don’t do as you say?”
Again, I came up empty in the threat department, so I threw out, “I’ll go home with Jake and sleep with him! That’s right. Wild monkey sex, too! Hanging from the chandelier and everything.” Does Jake even have a chandelier? I’ll have to ask.
He growled. “You wouldn’t.”
“Try me! Not one more peep!” I smoothed down my curls, hiccupped five more times, then took a deep breath, and headed out into the dining area. The woman from the bathroom caught my eyes for a brief moment before looking toward her date and leaning in to whisper something. Her companion shot me a quick judgmental glance over his shoulder. 
I resisted blurting out that his date was a gross pig and had cooties on her hands. Instead, I lifted my chin and walked over to the table where Jake was sitting back, completely unaware of the turbulence he’d just invited into his life.
That’s when it hit me. The tsunami of guilt.
I stopped and looked down at Jake, the most beautiful man I’d ever seen in real life.
“Everything okay?” he asked, obviously wondering why I hadn’t taken my seat.
Jake’s online profile said he was looking for someone special—someone to settle down with. That someone wasn’t me. How could it be? I was…complicated. My heart was trapped in some sort of bizarre purgatory, attached to a voice. Or, more accurately stated, attached to the endless images and fantasies my mind had conjured up to go with the stupid voice.
I couldn’t go on with the date. There was simply no point. I had to get rid of Guy, or there would be no normal. No boyfriends. No husband. No wild monkey sex.
I hiccupped twice, making Jake jump in his seat.
He stifled a smile. “Oh, here. Try drinking some water.”
I smoothed down the front of my dress, barely holding onto my tattered self-esteem. “I’m sorry, Jake, but you don’t want me. I’ve got so much baggage even JFK couldn’t handle it. But it was nice meeting you, and I hope you find that special someone.”
Jake stared blankly and then nodded slowly.
I bolted outside onto the bustling street filled with people enjoying their Friday night, living their lives while I continued hiccupping uncontrollably.
“Emma, I’m glad you came to your senses. All this bickering is 
tiresome, especially when you know I’m right. That male was despicable. Why do you even bother to challenge me?”
That’s when the doors flew off.
“You horrible! Egotistical! Caveman! I’m done! Do you hear me? Done! You. Have. Got to leave!”
Several couples scurried passed me. Although I was pretending to be talking to someone on my headset, I still looked like a detonating atom bomb in a green dress, mushrooming with toxic radiation.
“I’m not going anywhere, Emma. Besides, what would you do without me?” 
“I’m not going anywhere, Emma. Besides, what would you do without me?”
“You can’t be serious!”
“Why the hell not? If it weren’t for me, some sleaze ball would be using you for his sexual pleasure at this very moment. Is that what you truly want?”
“Yes! Wait. No…” I sighed. “Don’t you get it?” I need to move on. I need a normal life. I can’t keep obsessing over you, I wanted to add and thanked my lucky stars Guy could not read my thoughts.
“Once again, you ask this ridiculous question. The answer is no! I do not ‘get it.’ I do not ‘get’ your determination to throw yourself into situations that will only cause trouble. And as long as I exist, I have vowed to protect you…even if it’s from yourself.”
“Protect me? Protect me?” That was always his fallback line, but he never could explain why that was even necessary. What the hell did I need protection from? “You’re not protecting me—you’re hurting me. And if you’re not going to tell me why, there’s nothing left to talk about.”
“I’ve still got plenty to say, little girl.”
“No! This is over! Do you hear me? I’m ending this.” I stepped off the curb into the crosswalk, continuing to stomp my way home, determined to find the answer to my million-dollar question: How? How, dammit, would I get rid of him? I’d researched exorcists, psychotherapy drugs to block him from my mind, shock treatment, but nothing gave me hope of extracting him without exposing myself and being locked away in a white padded room. Just then, from the corner of my eye, I saw a set of lights barreling down on me and felt my body fly through the air before everything went dark.

Editorial Reviews


ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE WITH...A GOD? (a Paranormal Romance) (Accidentally Yours) (Kindle Edition)
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff is hysterical. This is the first in her Accidentally Yours series. Can't wait for more.

You will love Emma and the arrogant god she can't see. She does not dare let people find out she has a relationship with someone she only knows through dialogue in her thoughts. Her friends and family will think she is bonkers.

But when he calls her into the heart of the Mayan jungle to free him from some ancient ruins, with a promise to finally leave her alone after that, she finds that he is not only real, (and gorgeous) but about to further turn her world upside down.

Her desire to have a normal life, without some voice bothering her, may be a futile desire. Because desire is the word. This ruthless warrior-god is the most amazing male she has ever seen or imagined.

Emma is in big trouble. She realizes that her god is as dangerous as the other crazy gods, including my total favorite, wild and crazy Cimil. You are going to love Cimil and laugh out loud at her antics. Is she going to help Emma with the evil that has been unleashed into the world, the terrifying Uchben, or is she only going to make things worse?

If you're looking for action, adventure, comedic heroines, sexy immortals and foul (smelling) villains, then you're in for a real treat with Mimi Jean Pamfiloff's "Accidentally in Love With...a God?", the first in her Accidentally Yours series. This is a definite must read for not only romance lovers, but anyone looking for a good, solid story line and strong characters. Once I started this exciting read, I had a really hard time putting it down. Even comes complete with evil cliffhanger

 My Review 5 Bannery StarsThis is my second book of the Author Mimi Jean Pamfiloff and I was not disappointed.  From page one to the end I was hooked line and sinker into the Paranormal world of Deities and mortals. Action packed and Sensual just as she promised.The undercurrent of passion filled words and action of the two main characters kept you glued to the Kindle.Emma Keanne a feisty young woman was drawn in a world she did not understand but yet was part off from her birth. Her bloodline mixed with a deity who seek her for his own sadistic plot. But in came a hunk 6"9 of muscle and power, deity himself with sleek long black hair and rippled muscles to drool over and saved the day. Guy Santiago aka Votan God of Death and War. Trapped in the Mayan jungle for seventy years he had to rely on Emma to free him and help save the day.Girl power Yeah!Thrusted in this new world, she had to learn quickly the intriguing world since she had no knowledge of it excistance and trust more hunks with her life. Learning her own gifts as she go along while loosing her heart to a God. Tommaso her personal body guard, and The Uchben which was a group of men who took a oath to save mankind from them self. Always present to guard her from the Maaskab and her self.
I really enjoyed this fast pace paranormal story and would recommend it to any one who loves the exciting world of deities and Mayan culture mixed with romance and action.

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