Saturday, May 25, 2013

99cent Sale and Interview with Falcon the Pirate King


Buy Link: Smashwords

I was fortunate enough to get the villain from A Pirate’s Wife for an interview. Falcon had no last name but was well known in the 1600's. A man who instilled fear over the seven seas through out his time. Cunning and sly, brutal to those around him and …




Falcon “Now just stop there Missy!”
Me “Why?”

Falcon “What do you mean I was the villain?”

Me “Well you did do all those horrible things to people and you died at the end”

Falcon “I call it survival of the fittest Miss”

Falcon “Who are you any way?”


Me “The Author of the book”

Falcon “Women can not write they are simple minded”

Me “No we are not, we live in the 21 Century, women can do all things now”

Falcon “Imbeciles, never! Women can do nothing. They are only good for one thing”

He slammed his fist on the table and I must admit the man had me shaking in my boots.



Me “We are not in your Century any more Mr. Falcon”

Falcon “Bha, women are only good for one thing”

Me “Must I remind you Mr. Falcon that you were killed by a woman”

Silence fell among us as the beady eyes darted over the restaurant we met earlier on. One of my favorite hang outs and I felt very chuff to get the notorious Pirate here. Even if he was dead.
Falcon “It is because you wrote the story, you know nothing of honor”

Me “It was not honorable what you did to the Almaida family or Rosa-Lee” I pointed out


Falcon “She sure was pretty” and he grinned slyly

Me “Yes she was, married to Roberto, They were happy and  they sure did deceive you”


Falcon “I was furious!” his fist hit the table again cursing at the fellow who stared at us and he looked away.

Me “Easy there, we do not tolerate such bad behavior in public anymore”

Falcon “Bha, I still can not believe she killed me.”

Me “You did dare her and you threaten her and her baby’s life”

Falcon “If it was my baby she would have felt differently about me”

Me “But she didn’t she carried Roberto’s baby”

Falcon “Do not mention that traitor’s name in front of me” he hissed.

Me “But he was your son”

Falcon “Imbeciles! Do not mention his name, I will kill you”

Me “So much violence. You died just as you lived”

Falcon “I had a noble profession”


Me “No, you were a villain, thief and murderer”

Falcon “There is that word again, how dare you! I had mouths to feed”

Me “There were other ways to feed them!”

Falcon “Bha, typical woman, know nothing”

Me “If I know nothing, then inform me so that I can understand why you became a Pirate?”

Falcon “It is a long story”

Me “I have time, would you like some tea?”

Falcon “what do I look like to you, a woman?”

Me “No but I thought tea would help you to calm down”

Falcon “I do not care for tea, I need rum!”

Me “Tea and coffee, nothing else. This is a family restaurant. What about a nice Espresso, which would calm you down”

Falcon “What is that?”

Me “Strong coffee. Drink” I smiled at him

Falcon “Nice and strong” smacking his lips, twirling the dark liquid in his small cup

Falcon “What did you call this drink?”

Me “Espresso”

Falcon “Espresso. Hmmm” smacking his lips again and gave me a grin

Me “Please tell me why you choose the Pirate’s life?”

Falcon “I ran away from home when I was only a lad of twelve. My father used to beat us with out reason; always drunk and in a bad mood. My mother, a pretty little thing was broken and had no more life in her.” I swear I could saw a tear forming in the corner of his eye but he brushed it away quickly and I decide not to say anything.

“She could not defend herself against the onslaught and finally he beat her to death and when I put her in the ground I disappeared never to return home. I found myself work in an Inn, but that was no work for me. All that cleaning and scrubbing just did not sit well with me. I wanted to explore the world. I listened to all the stories from the sailors who passed through the Inn, watched as they told in great detail about their ventures and I was hooked.” Taking another sip

Falcon “I met Brutus” he chuckled looked at me and said “now there was a villain, the devil personified,
that one. He let me work on the ships he owned. Every thing I knew I learned from him and I learned what hard work was, he was merciless. Tolerated no disobedience from any one and I would get a swat against the head often, but I did not mind. I was where I wanted to be, on a ship and having my own ventures”

Me “How long did you work for him?”

Falcon “I was a grown man by the time he died. Brutally I might add. His second-in-command finally got to him and whacked him with an axe. Now that was a bloody mess”

Me “If you do not mind, spare me the gory details” and I shivered

Falcon “Bha, women”

Me “Please go on”

Falcon “To my surprise the men chose me to be their new Captain. The task was overwhelming but I have learned to be tough. Trained by Brutus I ruled with an iron fist. Tolerated no nonsense from my men. We sailed the seven seas, conquered everything that came in our sight. Including women. Now those were the days”

Me “Today they will hunt you down”

Falcon “Who?”

Me “The authorities”

Falcon “I am not scared”

Me “I know because you are dead”

Falcon “Will you stop rubbing it in, imbecile!”

Me “I will not tolerate that tone with me and I must remind you that you have been dead for centuries”

Falcon “Bha” he sneered.

Me “Tell me your thoughts about Rosa-Lee”

Falcon “She was a pretty little thing”

Me “You said that before, what else?”

Falcon “Brave, very brave. I would have loved to have her for myself but at the end the best man win”

Me “So you do not mind that Roberto…”

Falcon “You are a dim wit, of course I mind”

Me “Sir if you do not mind”

Falcon “What! Will your authorities capture me” he sneered once again

Me “It is impolite to talk like that”

Falcon “Impolite! Bha. That Rosa-lee was the same. Annoying b…”

Me “Falcon Sir!” my patience was dangerously low

Falcon “She was brave and a good fighter with the sword”

Me “Yes I know”

Falcon “How will you know, you are so young?’

Me “I wrote the book”

Falcon “Bha”

Me “Why did you not like women? I would have thought after the way your father treated your mother that you would be better?”

Falcon “Women can not think for themselves and needs a firm hand from a man”

Me “I am sorry sir, but women can think for themselves. In this century they have good professions, trained to do any work. There is no limit any more”

Falcon “Bha, I do not believe you. A women need to know who is in charge, who is the better man”

Me “That does not make you a better man” I was truly annoyed with this old geezer

Falcon “I do not have to listen to this anymore”

Me “Fine, I do not talk to ghosts”

Falcon “Bha” and he was gone.

Just like that.

Me “Well there you have it, even in death he is impossible to talk too.”

Falcon “Imbeciles!”


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